Lost Angel
by Elektra7
Summary: Welcome to the mind of a megalomaniac. Meet Roxanne Namida, torn between duty and love, honor and hate. In the mind of this Sith warrior, the lines between love and hate blur; and in her last moments, the truth becomes all too clear. Enjoy the trip.


(Disclaimer: I, the author, in no way own or pretend to dream that I own the copyrighted characters aforementioned in this work of fiction. It is fan-fiction, and in no way to I get any monetary value from writing this. However, I do own my originals, and any "borrowing" without permission will result in a seriously upset authoress. If you own this series, don't bother suing. I have nothing worth suing for. And yes, this is severely AU. What with Bruck Chun being back.. I thought he died rather half-assed. Not that I did any better, but meh. AU, OC, AND the mad writer. Have a nice day. REVIEWS ADORED! -hint hint-, and Dani, I borrowed Kad. I'm taking care of him. ^_^j Rated R for language and scenes of violence)  
  
She closed her eyes, looking over the pool of slime green. The fumes from the sludge burnt her unprotected eyes, and she, foolishly enough, had forgotten to wear her goggles. Her eyes were not used to the radioactive sludge that now bubbled and broiled beneath her, a deadly mockery of the viscous primordial slop.  
She looked to her hand, and brushed a single strand of red hair from her eyes. Now a slate gray, they seemed almost as flat and as cold as stone and the smile on her lips was just as hard. One hand raised to trace three hair fine scars, scratched down her face by a claw, her lips twisting into a vicious smirk as the memory flashed through her mind.  
  
-"You heard me, Chun. You're worthless, good for nothing but a fuck. Get used to the fact that you're garbage. I won't be the first to tell you, and I never lie."  
"Fuck off, Namida." Claws extended dangerously sharp as her taunted and teased opponent took his measure of the woman before him, a sardonic smirk glimmering on his lips. His eyes bore the glint of overconfidence. That misplaced overconfidence. She bit back a chuckle; had she ever been so stupid once? She prided herself on the knowledge that she had never been as gullible and as pathetic as the creature before her. Weakness disgusted her, and this moron before her that dared call himself a warrior made her feel physically nauseous. She smiled, before darting in, saber extended before her, to slash ruthlessly at his throat. She laughed as the crimson blood sprayed down her cheeks, splashing the black she wore so elegantly, over the ruby beads at her throat, running into her eyes. A single drop trailed past her lips, and with a quick movement of her tongue, she licked off the liquid. Pleasantly bitter, it tasted almost alive. Almost, but not quite. Not yet.  
She laughed as she stood angled above the kneeling body, a small, cruel and utterly cold smile on her face as she stared down at the figure of what had once been a friend, then a lover. If only briefly. Now, he was nothing but a broken and bleeding body, blood still dripping thickly from his sliced jugular. She smiled cruelly, angling the blade at his throat, eyes narrowed at the spark of life still flickering in his unfathomable blue eyes. She did not see the attack that scarred her. One quick lunge and it was over.  
Bruck Chun was dead, and her hand, raised to her face, was bleeding, a deep stinging. She smiled, baring her fangs as she kicked the corpse of her first kill viciously, laughing as the already pale body tumbled off the cat walk and into the deep and murky waters. Laughed as the only friend she had known tumbled into the dark water, to disappear into the depths of a watery Hell.-  
  
Her mind snapped back into the present, and the task at hand, her eyes going the flat gray. What was life, if it was not to fight? All of life was a fight, fight to be born, fight against death. Everything; fighting, and nothing else. What would become of her when there was nothing left to fight? She did not know, and did not wish to know, as that day, for her, would never come. Her smile wavered slightly as she squinted through the mists to see a figure approaching. As it cut through the fog, she smiled slightly; the day had finally come. The traitor would pay, would cry, would DIE, for what he had done.  
She smiled, before dropping a hand to the ornate hilt at her side. It housed her saber, her weapon of choice. With it, she had spilled enough red blood to fill seas, and shed enough of the innocent blood that lived around her.  
The figure came closer; she could tell who it was now. Xanatos Shido.  
  
-"Xanatos! I hate you! Why can't you go away and leave us alone?! Why can't you just DIE?!" Her eyes alight with rage, Roxanne looked towards the figure, her eyes alight with hate and cruelty towards the man. She snarled viciously, before shooting a pointed look to the girl at her side.  
The blonde sitting beside her gave a small yelp as Roxanne tugged at her hair viciously. They shared an uncanny physical resemblance, right down to the ash-blonde hair and blue eyes. However, while Roxanne's eyes were the cold blue of sapphires, the girl's eyes were the warm blue of a tropical sea. Mizu Elizabeth Gallagher, and she was Roxanne's sister.  
Roxanne tugged viciously, baring Mizu's neck with a quick tug, unsheathing her lightsaber with a small smirk. "You think you can steal what is mine? You think you can steal Xanatos' love? You dare?!"  
Her sister whimpered softly, her eyes averted to the blade of the 'saber, humming dangerously close to her neck, the very air tainted with the ozone of the humming blade. Her eyes screamed the negative, but her lips, voice ghostly soft, whispered defiantly.  
"I do."  
Roxanne shrieked, raising her hand, bringing the saber within inches of the pale throat. Memories of the mythical Iphignia flashed through her mind. The princess, called as a casualty by an unfeeling god, to let Agamemnon set on his crusade of horror. What was one virgins blood spilt compared to the massacre that would follow? Mizu now bore the stigma of that princess, and her blood spilled would be sweet; sweeter perhaps then ambrosia. Roxanne smiled wickedly; this punishment would suit her fine. Let the brat die for her treachery and HIM too. Let the two lovers die together.  
A cool voice stopped her hand mere inches from the quaking figure. Cold, cruel and detached, Xanatos Shido cared for no one; no one but the girl currently terrified, edging away from the saber.  
"Roxanne, let her go. Your quarrel is with me. I am the traitor, not she. Let her GO, Xanne."  
Roxanne shivered at the use of her pet name and the memories it caused. She smiled at Xanatos, a small smirk twisting her lips.  
"Oh really?" She laughed softly, before continuing, "I hadn't noticed. She can die anyways."  
Bringing the saber down to slash, she laughed as the artery was sliced and cauterized. She really DID prefer this method of death. Painless.yet oddly satisfying. The cleanliness of it all amused her as well, although the lack of blood annoyed her slightly. What was murder if it was not to be tasted, savored? She laughed at the face Xanatos made, a small grimace, and she snickered softly, her face turned into a horrific smirk. "Poor Xanatos...the traitor having to loose the one person he loved... awwww...my black little heart just BLEEDS for you." She snickered softly, before blowing him a small kiss, lips pursed in a terrible mockery. "You, Xanne, with a heart? I'll be damned." "SHUT IT, Xanatos. I have a heart, and I once had a mind to gift it to you. I'm GLAD I didn't."  
  
Her eyes narrowed slightly as he crossed the distance, a sneer on his lips. "How dare you." "NO! How dare you! Why couldn't things be as they were, Xanatos? Why couldn't we just stay together for ever? If the darkness wanted it... why couldn't we? We could have risen to the top. Ruled the Sith, Xanatos. We could have been Emperor and Mistress... yet NO! You had to love her... well, she's dead now, and so are you."  
  
She snarled, before bringing the saber flashing to his throat, to parry away, the jolt rising through her arms to quail already stinging muscles. The hum of saber on saber filled the air with the smell of ozone as the two fighters battled, gracefully stepping over the dear form on the floor.  
  
The moved with agility and grace, a deadly beauty and calmness to every darting movement. A cobra's dance of death, striking out at the enemies weakest spot. It was obvious, this was to the death. Yet the small glimmer in Roxanne's eyes seemed to instill hope in Xanatos. Perhaps he could bring her back from the edge after all. Make her change. It would not bring back the dead, but...it would keep the living alive.  
  
He bit back tears at the thought, his gaze for an instant snapping to the girl's body at his feet. His love, whom he had loved only because she bore a resemblance to his lost lover. Yet it had only resulted in murder for Roxanne and death for Mizu.  
  
He parried a thrust violently, before depowering his saber, allowing it to fall to his side as he knelt to pick up the limp figure of Mizu. His eyes watered slightly as he carried the girl, so malleable in death, which had once been vibrant and alive. His muse and friend. Now his angel of death. He shook his head, before slipping the saber to his belt with his free hand, carrying her as one would a child, his back turned to Roxanne as he slowly walked away . He placed his faith in Roxanne that she would not attack him...because she loved him. Resolute and stony, he kept walking till his form was nothing more then a shadow in a distant haze.  
  
Only then did Roxanne fall to her knees, tears streaming from her cerulean eyes. "Xanatos...I'm so sorry.I didn't want to hurt her. but now you love me. NOW you love me. Because I am the only one you have."-  
  
Wiping her mind of the memory, she muttered darkly, viewing the figure, now significantly closer. She smiled slightly, with a small hint of feeling in the cruel expression. He would be here soon; she had precious little time left.Her memory flashed to a day long ago, when she had been young and idealistic.  
  
-"Oh mama.. I'm going to be late.. Can we hurry!" Grinning, she held the woman's hand. Dressed in the nicest of Galian fabrics, shimmer-silk in dark blue and soft green, the little girl was obviously the daughter of a powerful house of Gala, most probably one of the Senator's children. Her blonde hair curled in ringlets and she brushed it eagerly out her eyes.  
  
This was her first day at the elite inter-galactic preparatory school for the children of Senators, effectively training a new generation for the offices of the worlds. The little girl was so eager to begin, she hurried in the school, ignoring her mother's commands to be ladylike. She giggled, running to her class with a child's abandon, skidding into an older boy  
  
She smiled sweetly, before apologizing quickly, her eyes on the floor. She heard a laugh and raised her eyes, meeting her sapphire eyes with a boy her age, his deep blue eyes echoing hers. She raised a hand in greeting, the typical little lady, giggling as he pressed a reluctant kiss to it.  
  
She laughed outright when he muttered about it, flushing a bright pink. "Hi! You're here too! I'm here.. I'm starting Year one.. My name is Lady Roxanne Kirrelian Sh'Erake Ellidiaae." Her voice was a soft treble, and she giggled slightly, before shrugging. "You?"  
  
With all her five year old mentality, if he was bigger, he was older, and this time, at least, she was right. His answer, in a relatively smooth voice for one so young, was cool and aloof, but carried a hint of amusement. "Well, Lady Roxanne Kirrelian Sh'Erake Ellidiaae, my name is Kad Von Chun. I'm starting year Four."  
  
To her five year old mind, a four year age gap was astounding, even more so when the boy was nine, almost a full half-decade older then her. It would explain his height, towering over her.  
  
She grinned maliciously, before wrapping his arm around her, the model of childish exuberance and high spirits.  
  
"Good. Then you know your way around this place..and you can take me to class. I left my Maman! I didn't need anyone to keep me company."  
At his raised brow, she smiled ruefully, before grinning.  
"Well, I actually kind of lost her.. But...you'll be my friend, yes? I don't have many friends. You can call me Xanne." She smiled, linking her hands in hers as the boy grinned impishly, leading her down a small corridor to the younger girls classes.-  
  
Her blue eyes narrowed at the memory of younger times, a slow smile working its way across her lips. She wrapped her arms around herself in a slow hug, before shaking her head. Kad.her friend. Some distant portent of her soul still had that capacity, even after all the time, and fights, and blood between them. After all, she had killed his brother. She hissed at the memory, the recalled battle flashing through her mind.  
  
The taste of the blood, the flash of sabers. He thought he could possibly have beaten her, and that was his first mistake. She laughed sweetly, before shrugging, a small movement, easily dismissing the ghosts of the dead back to the grave.  
Happier memories, happier times, all now gone. What was Bruck to her now? He had been her lover, her friend, her companion. Her best friend, along with her sister. They had always been friends.  
  
He had shown her what it was like to live.  
She had shown him what it felt like to die. 


End file.
